Silk

She is dark as midnight, and equally as spellbinding. She reflects the sky as she dances below me in a swirling galaxy of shimmering, smooth silk. Each movement ripples seamlessly into the next with no thought of the future. She only flows from moment to moment, trusting her vision, trusting herself.

I roll over her waters of the Pacific Ocean, grazing coast of Mexico. Her waves beckon to me and the message is clear: she yearns for me to stand upon her.

My heart wills me to rise from my knees, but my mind freezes me in a low squat. My feet quake beneath me, in her ever-moving, ever-shape-shifting presence. I fixate my sight on her depths and her voice finds me. It says, “fall into me, for I will catch you”.

And with faith in command, I stand.

All at once, there is turbulence within and turbulence around. The uncertainty upon which I stand is unbearable. Yet just when I think all composure is lost, her voice comes to me again. She reminds me that we are one. I waive my rights of control and surrender. When I submit to the flow, my body moves in unison with her, in synchronized breaths, inhaling and exhaling the swells of her waves.

And when I fall, she catches me. As promised, I land in her soft, warm embrace.  She feels like silk. She then lifts me above her, onto my board so I may behold her again. This time, I stand to see the setting sun shine upon her, reflected in millions of mirrors of pink scattered across her surface.

Her beauty and this moment are too much, and I find myself sinking to my knees in reverence for all that she is and all that she provides.

Life is not so unlike the tumultuous waters of the ocean. With any step into the unknown, we face uncertainty that can shake our foundation. But we must remember that the fear of falling, or the fear of failing is much worse than the fall itself.

The unpredictability of life can incite overwhelm and anxiety if we hold close the ideals of control and perseverate on the outcome of the event. Our fixation on such things goes against the fundamental grains of life: the chaotic unpredictability of flow. Nature accomplishes all it needs to in her own timely fashion. She has no fear of things burning down for She understands that from death comes rebirth. With mercy, she lets fragility die so that stronger ones can emerge.

We lose our balance when we are determined to harness control. We must learn that there is no controlling nature. There is faith that we will be provided exactly what we need in order to fully blossom ourselves. There is faith that we can handle whatever life throws our way, that we, as one of the most adaptable species on earth, can survive to tell the tale, and to thrive past it.

Much like standing on water with a board, is quite easy to become one with flow and move with it. Once we get over the initial panic of uncertainty, we can acknowledge the divine plan and reinstate faith that all is as it should be. We can recognize our own strength for dealing with the repercussions of the fall.

The chaos, the uncertainty, and the ceaseless flow of life is nothing to fear. The natural flow of life is meant to be honored, not conquered.