Libre de Vicios

Salamina, Colombia

It was a summer filled with old stress, new stress, & stress reinvented.

All self-imposed, even if I couldn’t see that until I was on the other side. I was swirling in a pack of racing thoughts, being jostled and elbowed and roughly pushed along the way as I tried to keep up with life.

I had fallen BACK into the trap of believing life was some type of punishment, turning a blind eye to my ability (& responsibility) to alter anything that was not adding value to my life.

As per usual, I took on more than I could handle mentally and, as such, I was fighting a losing battle of controlling my internal world.

There was my beloved cat to re-home. A storage unit to empty single-handedly. Deep wounds of a breakup resurfaced and surged with a force that left the entire cavity of my chest pained and constricted. All this was encompassed by my choice to overextend staying at my mother’s house. I was gracious of her hospitality, but once the nest is left, it can only be returned to to tend to an injury. It is not for the flier who wants to soar high. There’s an unconscious level of self-expression and peace of mind that is suffocated under such conditions.

From an aching heart to an inability to fully breathe, my chest became so tight I could inhale but a millimeter until I felt as if an iron wrought cage was confining it on all sides. It felt so restricted that I wished someone would give me chest compressions for any sense of relief.

Like a caged bird, the air was trapped by my ribs. I was unable to access full expansion of myself - body, mind, or spirit. By all outward appearances, I was doing fine (minus the all-too-predictable weight gain).

Yet much was not in alignment. There was a blockage of flow, a low current of energy.

Sleep dwindled, coping mechanisms returned, and I slipped into a mode of survival. One where creativity has no soil to attach its roots, much less grow, and even less bloom.

The only thing that provided me solace was my exercise routine. It was my only means for getting out of my mind and into my body.

My acupuncturist helped me further pinpoint the areas in distress and unblock them through his gifted and insightfully intuitive healing. But I knew that relief was temporary: he got the energy re-flowing but it was up to me to keep everything from getting blocked again.

Given my need for something physical, I knew I needed a change in environment. What’s more is that I needed a change in lifestyle.

I needed a dramatic time-out.

It’s funny we’re so loath to go after what we really want & need. I wanted my own space in nature to drink coffee all day and write my heart out. Doesn’t sound too complicated, does it?

Enter Alto Bonito. It was one of the first places to pop-up when I did a preliminary search of AirBnBs in Medellin. Given its 7-hour driving distance from the city, I’d like to say it found me or my internal compass just lunged for it.

2 trains

1 international flight

1 domestic flight.

1 collectivo*

1 shared taxi ride &

1 private taxi

later I arrive in the middle of the Colombian Andes, a modest 2,000 meters closer to the sky.

My host reflects back to me that wholesome part within me — the one I have embodied and have also yet to embody.

It’s the push-rest balance. It’s going to bed with the moon and waking with the sun. It’s all fresh, unprocessed, whole foods. It’s supplementing that diet with sunbathing in those glorious sun- and heat-filled moments in the mountains. It’s a place full of nature and free of vices. It’s a place that halts the running of the thoughts, allowing me to double my sleep from 4.5 hours to 9 just by being in its presence.

It’s a place where you go from stressed-out to blissed-out upon arrival.

It’s a place where I am void of distractions and have absolutely no choice, and no greater honor, than to focus inward.